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Post by jimshorts on Feb 15, 2009 0:12:43 GMT -5
A man seeking to join a south Texas Sheriff's Department is being interviewed:
The Sergeant doing the interview says: 'Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted.'
Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says: 'Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit.'
'Why the rabbit?'
'Great attitude,' says the Sergeant. 'When can you start?'
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Post by DiRT*ProCircuit*625 on Feb 16, 2009 11:12:08 GMT -5
lmao. thats a good one. alomst as good as that mirror text i sent you. lol. the one that said something backwards. i loved it.
my girlfriend is blonde;
whats the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
rooster says cock-a-doodle-doo!!! and the blonde says, any-cock-will-do!!!! (maybe i need to not post this one.)
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Post by hillstrom517 on Feb 16, 2009 18:46:12 GMT -5
HAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAA. not post that? then u wouldnt of jus made my day!! hahaahhahahaha
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Post by $420$Monster271 on Feb 16, 2009 20:16:22 GMT -5
That's a good one DIRT. Jimshorts has a good one too. LOL.
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
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Post by DiRT*ProCircuit*625 on Feb 16, 2009 21:37:13 GMT -5
nice man. very nice
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Post by <TX>TorkiT on Feb 16, 2009 22:16:18 GMT -5
haha thats some funny sh1t, gentlemen. I dont have any good knee slappers yet.
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Post by <TX>TorkiT on Feb 16, 2009 22:19:14 GMT -5
Thought of one. Yo momma teeth so buck, everytime she sneeze, she bites her chest. hahaha Yes worst than that dude in Dirt's signature. Google eyed perch lookin b*tch. lol
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Post by DiRT*ProCircuit*625 on Feb 17, 2009 12:45:06 GMT -5
perch? lol. thats great.
another one,
three guys are atop the empire state buliding. one says to the others, "bet mine hangs fartur then yors". the second says, "your on". the first one lets it out and t goes 2 stories down. the second guy says,"not bad, but check this out!" his goes 4 stories down. then the first guy looks past the second and sees the 3rd guy weaving back and forth. he says, "what are you doing, man?"
the man responds, "IM DODGING TRAFFIC!!"
\/ i was laughin like this when i heard it.
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Post by <TX>TorkiT on Feb 17, 2009 13:02:12 GMT -5
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Post by DiRT*ProCircuit*625 on Feb 17, 2009 18:52:25 GMT -5
hahaha. yup, must be related to the guy in my signature. lol.
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Post by jimshorts on Feb 17, 2009 22:00:43 GMT -5
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Post by hillstrom517 on Feb 18, 2009 4:57:05 GMT -5
lol sure isnt. but hell sure as hell be payin for that one.
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Post by hillstrom517 on Feb 18, 2009 6:00:11 GMT -5
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Post by DiRT*ProCircuit*625 on Feb 19, 2009 16:52:38 GMT -5
ok, i might have posted this one in the past so go easy if i did. lol
hilly was setting up his spot on a nude beach(eww) and had just laid down. a little girl(balls) came up to him and said,"hey mister, whats that?" pointing to his crouch. he replies,"ummm, thats my uh,... my birdie!" he said in an awkward voice. the girl asked, "can i play with it?" hilly quickly replies, "nope. not right now. im going to catch some sleep." hilly falls asleep in a couple minuts after taking some shots of patron. he then waks up hours later and is in the middle of the e.r. at a local hospital! he immediately screams, "wtf? what happened?" the little girl is next to him and he again says, "WHATS GOING ON? WHY IS THERE BLOOD ALL OVER MY CROUCH?"
the happy little girl says with a grin, " WELL, I WAS PLAYING WITH YOUR BIRDIE ND IT STOOD UP TO PLAY. THEN AFTER A WHILE, IT JUST SPIT ON ME. SO I RIPPED ITS HEAD OFF, SMASHED ITS EGGS, AND TORE UP ITS NEST!!!"
moral- nude beaches are not all there cracked up to be. lol. poor hilly.
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Post by hillstrom517 on Feb 20, 2009 4:20:25 GMT -5
damn right poor me. lol. wonder how the hell i slept threw that sh*t. haaha
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